Before I start this list, let me tell you one thing. There is nothing wrong with being friends with a woman (hell, I have many female friends). If there’s no chemistry between the two of you, it’s a friendship that can last a long time and be mutually beneficial to the both of you.
However, if you have a crush on a girl and she most likely knows about it but is too afraid to tell you because it might “hurt your feelings”, then you can consider yourself friendzoned.
If you ever asked yourself the question “am I in the friend zone?” then you will find the answer below. So, here are 21 indicators that can help you realize that you’re stuck in the friend zone:
1. She loves you, but only as a friend
Right, so let’s get the most obvious one out of the way first. The only way you will hear the sentence “I love you” from her, is if it’s followed by the word “as”. Or, if you are standing right next to her when she is saying it to Steve.
Example: I really love you! I love you as the guy who is always there for me! Remember the time I got really drunk at that awesome party (you know, the one you weren’t invited to) and you had to carry me home 3 miles, and I puked all over you?
2. She feels no need to look good in your presence
She feels too comfortable in your company. She isn’t afraid to wear her shabbiest clothes in front of you or doesn’t feel the need to hide her face behind ten layers of make-up. However, when there are other people around, she will always try to look her best. Especially for the guy she is really interested in.
3. She isn’t afraid to ask you for favors
Usually, when you like someone, a favor is the least thing on your mind you would want to ask that person. You don’t want to waste her time with your trivial matters. However, if she asks favors from you, especially favors that don’t involve you both doing something together (like babysitting her dog), you know where you stand in this relationship.
Example: Hey, I know you wouldn’t mind taking care of Princess for me while I go out with that guy I met today. Would you? Oh by the way, be careful, she likes to bite strangers and crap on the carpet when she’s in weird places.
4. She always tells you how one of her friends would be perfect for you
She tries to set you up with other women in the hopes that you stop hovering over her. This could actually be considered a nice gesture of her. That is, if she really is just trying to help you out by hooking you up with one of her friends (then go for it!) and not just trying to get rid of you.
Example: You know, Susan would be perfect for you! She feels so lonely after Brad dumped her. What? No! She has only 11 cats!
5. She is only available when it’s convenient for her
If you need a friend or someone to talk to, she might not always have time for you. She has stuff to do and places to be, not like you (you will always be there for her). At times she even cancels the plans you made with her to go somewhere more interesting.
Example: Oh I’m sorry. I totally forgot our “movie date”. I was too busy making out with Kevin. But hey, maybe next time (if I’m not too busy). You had to watch Fifty Shades of Grey alone? How was it? Be honest, did you cry?
6. She relies on you, even when she’s in a relationship
She will still ask you for favors or go shopping with you. Why bother her boyfriend when you love it? She might call you out of the blue when she has to complain about him, though… at 3 o’clock in the morning. Her boyfriend doesn’t even see you as a threat.
Example: Carl is such a jerk! After having 2 hours of passionate love making, he doesn’t even want to cuddle!
7. She compares you to a relative/brother
To her, you are a neutral entity in her life. You know her parents, brothers and sisters and they consider you as the guy who hangs around with her (the dog hates you, though). They have no problems barging into the room when you are alone with her. Because what could you be doing with her that requires privacy? To them, you are this non-sexual entity like the dog, or a houseplant.
Example: You are like family to me! Kissing you would be like kissing my brother! Ewww… could you imagine us naked together? Oh by the way, my mom says “Hi!”.
8. She isn’t afraid to tell you her darkest secrets
She can talk honestly and openly to you about the feeling she has… for other guys. If a girl isn’t even remotely afraid to tell you the shit she has done, you can guess where you stand with her. Would you tell your crush about the time you got really drunk and mistakenly tried to kiss that dude you thought to be a chick only to get beaten up by his girlfriend and then proceeded to piss yourself and pass out in the gutter? Probably not.
9. The most she will give you is a hug
Because touching plays a significant role in attraction, you can guess where this leads: she will never try to touch you in a way lovers do. There is no physical attraction or contact whatsoever between the two of you. No touching intimate body parts! Hands off is her motto… for you! The only zones on her body you will be touching is her back and shoulders when she needs a hug or a back rub and sometimes even… no wait, that’s it!
10. She will always tell you what a great friend you are
You are the best friend ever. Every girl would be lucky to have you as a friend. You always do stuff for her (stuff, she could totally do herself) without expecting anything in return. She can always rely on you and you can always rely on h… oh wait! Never mind! You are such great friend!
11. She has “a drink” with you and still nothing happens
When people get drunk, the social barriers start to fall and crazy stuff happens. Girls let their guard down and become very receptive to a guy’s advances. Well, expect with you. When she is drunk, all you are going to hear from her is what a jerk Josh is and how cute his butt looks in those tight jeans.
12. She invites other people to your “date”
She takes your relationship so platonically that she sees no problems appearing with 4 other people to your meet up. It will also be a nice distraction from the awkward silences she might have with you.
Example: You are such a great guy that I know you wouldn’t mind if I invited Mike, Tom, Cindy (you know, she has a crush on you?) and that very cute guy I met today. I just knew you wouldn’t mind.
13. She responds to your texts whenever she feels like it
You can never be sure if you get a response from her. Sometimes you might not even get a response from her at all.
Example: Message received on Jan 21, 2017 3:18 AM: LOL! Happy New Year to you as well, my friend!
14. She goes out with you and ditches you for other people
Whenever you two go out, she stays by your side as long as there are no other, more interesting, guys around. When meeting new people, she makes it clear to everyone that the two of you are just friends and nothing can and will ever happen between the two of you. EVER!
Example: (In a night club) Hey let’s party! Let’s go dancing! Oh, there’s Mike, you wouldn’t mind dancing here alone for a bit, BRB! (At the end of the night you walk home, alone… crying)
15. She barely makes an effort to see you
There can be times when you rarely see this girl. She doesn’t respond to your messages or calls and at times you are wondering if she is even alive. She disappears for a while and the next time you see her, she will have a new boyfriend… named Steve.
16. She “flirts” with you, but not in the way she should
There can be some flirting in the friendship but this never leads to somewhere. She might playfully tease you or call you names. Normally this kind of behavior could be seen as attraction, but in your case, it’s just a messing around with a friend.
Example: Hey Buttface, want to have a pillow fight and afterward paint my nails?
17. She isn’t testing you
Women test men constantly to see if they are boyfriend material. If you fail her tests all the time, you get friendzoned, and that’s where the tests completely stop. Once you are in the friend zone, she doesn’t even bother with you anymore.
18. She doesn’t mind you talking to other girls
Jealousy is an indicator of interest. If you are trying the tactic of making her jealous by talking to other women and she doesn’t even notice it, well you know the rest… She might even encourage you to go and talk to the one girl who has been eyeing you (who, you are pretty sure, has a mustache).
19. Your compliments don’t affect her
Usually complimenting a girl, who is obviously attracted to you, will get you some indications of interest back. But not with her. When you compliment her appearance, the clothes she wears or something funny she says, her response stays neutral.
Example: (After a heartbreaking, gut-wrenching compliment) Really? Thank you! You are so… sweet and such a good friend! Hey, would you mind watching after Princess today?
The two following reasons are your own doing, and you can only blame yourself. And probably romantic movies. Maybe even your mother. The dog… yeah, definitely blame the dog!
20. You waited too long to make a move on her
So you thought that if she gets to know you better, she will finally realize that you are the perfect guy and the one she actually loves. After she has gone through the countless dudes, most of your friends and Steve (Steve, goddammit!) she will see the light and fall in love with you. You, the magnificent stud, who can save her from all her wicked ways. Yeah… ain’t gonna happen, buddy!
You are a man who is nice to everybody and loved by all… expect by her of course. You lack the alpha male, bad boy traits but you make all up for it with you sensitivity and passion for poetry.Example: Roses are red. Violets are blue. So are my balls. Steve, screw you!
Dedicated to all men who have been asking themselves the question “am I in the friend zone?” and everyone who already knows it!
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