A lot of guys are obsessed with attracting women through body language. And who can really blame them? It’s a fact that any man who demonstrates attractive and confident body language captivates women. So, every guy who knows how to use it to his advantage is seen as attractive and will be miles ahead of the average Joe.
That’s also why in this article we are going to take a look at how you can improve your body language and become this attractive guy. But we are also going to take this one step further. We are going to do something many others don’t really tell you about improving one’s body language, and that is whether you should really be focusing on it.
But for now, let us start with the things that can make you more attractive to women by taking a look at how to attract women with body language.
The Body Language of an Attractive Man
So, here are the body language tips that will help you to attract women. Of course, there are more of them than the examples mentioned below, but we are going to take a look at the most important ones. They are:
Your Posture. While you are standing or walking, always push your chest forward, your shoulders back and down (to straighten your back) and keep your chin up. If you’re standing, you can just let your arms hang by your side or push your thumbs into the front pockets of your pants if that feels more comfortable. Just don’t cross your arms in front of you.
You should know that this is a very dominant pose, but overdoing it will make you look really fake (like you’re overcompensating). That’s why you have to stay completely relaxed, otherwise your movements will look really artificial, hence fake. To improve your posture, it’s advisable to practice it in front of a mirror where you can see your whole body and calibrate accordingly.
When you are sitting down, you should be focusing more on feeling completely relaxed than trying to keep yourself in a certain, rigid pose. If you feel comfortable keeping your spine erect, then by all means, sit with a straight back. But if you feel that this is too inconvenient, just lean back and make yourself as comfortable as possible. Sit with your legs wider apart and let your arms rest on your legs or wherever it feels most comfortable and natural to you. But again, don’t cross them in front of you.
Your posture is the one thing telling people immediately what kind of man they are dealing with. Demonstrate a confident, relaxed posture, and women will notice you from far.
Taking up space. The more space you take up, the more dominant and confident you will seem. This has a lot to do with your posture as well. When you are standing, you should have your legs firmly on the ground but a bit wider apart than you usually would (the same with your arms). If you take up more space in a room, people will usually assume that you are the most dominant person in there.
The same goes for sitting down, take up more space than others and people will assume that you are a very dominant and confident. This is also something you could practice in front of a mirror to get a natural feel for it.
Movement. Whenever you move around, you should look completely relaxed and at ease, or simply put, in control. A guy who looks like he is in control will also look very confident. Therefore, it’s very important to avoid signs of nervousness like fidgeting or shaking. In order to look more confident, you should slow down your movements (of course, don’t overdo this either.) Slower, deliberate movements indicate that a guy feels comfortable in his body.
Your Tonality. Women respond positively to a deep, loud voice. This means that when you speak, your voice should carry and come from your diaphragm. The reason why you should be speaking louder is actually pretty simple – it makes you look more dominant and certain. Insecure people try to keep their voice down, they either don’t want to stand out or incontinence others. Confident people, on the other hand, aren’t afraid to make themselves heard and talk with a clear, loud, commanding voice.
Another way to use your voice to your advantage is to speak a bit slower than normally. This is just like with your movements – you seem like you are in control. If you are insecure, you will try to talk as fast as possible – you don’t want to waste other’s time. If you are a secure person, you talk assuming everyone is listening to you, so you talk slower and louder.
Eye contact. Keeping strong eye contact with women is vital. Strong, lasting eye contact is also a sign of interest, so if you like a girl, keeping eye contact with her is a must. Looking down or averting your gaze is a clear sign of discomfort, disinterest or insecurity. If you look into a girl’s eyes and manage to hold your eye contact even longer than she does, you will seem very confident and dominant.
Why Body Language Alone Isn’t Enough
Now you know how to attract women with body language. But usually, that’s not enough. Ultimately what it comes down to is still how confident you feel in your own body. If you appear confident on the outside, but inside it’s a completely different story, you will have a really hard time convincing a girl of that. Why do you think this is?
Because women are experts at reading body language and can pick up subtle cues from your behavior. You might be able to fool a girl for some time, but you can’t do it forever. Eventually she will see through your bluff. But for the sake of the argument, let’s assume for a second that you know exactly how to attract women with body language and can do it effortlessly (despite being terrified on the inside). Let’s also assume that she takes the first step and actually approaches you. How will a display of confident body language help you?
In a case like this, you might even manage to keep your composure for some time and make yourself look more confident than you actually are, but given enough time, she will still catch onto you. Because you are scared and excited about talking to her, you will start to give off subtle cues that you’re not that confident after all. You might start making faster, sudden movements. You might fidget, or your hands start to shake. You might avoid eye contact on critical moments, or your voice starts to crack. Every little thing could give you away and you probably don’t even notice the slip-ups yourself. But she will (either consciously or subconsciously). She will see the discrepancy between your behavior and body language and lose interest.
It is very hard, if not impossible to always appear more confident than you actually are simply because you will have to micromanage every little thing. You will have to control your voice, your posture, your movements, the way you speak, the way you walk, the way you hold eye contact; you will have to do all of this consciously and at the same time try to have an immersing conversation with her. Any little mistake could mean that she notices that something is off.
Like mentioned before, confident body language is very natural, slow and controlled. But if you actually aren’t in control and merely trying to give off the illusion of control, you will eventually get caught. So, what can you actually do?
The Self Is Always Coming Through
Just remember this: the self is always coming through. This means that no matter how much you trying to hide your true self behind your body language, eventually you will still show her your true colors. And if that person isn’t congruent with the way he speaks and acts, you will lose her.
This is why you should not focus only on your body language (the outside) but on your mindset as well (the inside). It’s good to know the above-mentioned tips. They will definitely help you to appear more confident, but if you keep relying only on them, you will just reduce them to gimmicks – something that is not reliable.
This is why you should work on your mindset as well. If you fix your mindset, you will subconsciously start acting the way a confident, dominant alpha male acts anyway. You will not have to think about the way you should present yourself in any given situation. You will just start doing it.
Now, since I gave you the tips above, you might still need something to help you with your mindset. This is where you have to take a look at Rules of the Alpha Male. It is by far one of the best courses on the subject of turning a scared guy into a confident, attractive man. It will help you to fix your mindset and turn you into the man who doesn’t have to pretend anymore!