If you are reading this, you probably know already that to become better with women you will have to learn a lot of new things. But there is still one thing you should keep in mind no matter how good you become – always try to look at the bigger picture.
Before I started to get good with women, I had absolutely no idea how to get a girl to like me. I didn’t even know that it is something I could learn. Things always just happened to me. Even if someone did like me, I had no idea how to seal the deal with her. I just screwed things up because I was a hopeless case. But I had one redeeming quality: I was curious. I was just too damn curious, and I wanted to find out why I was so unsuccessful.
The Quest for Becoming Better
So, when I started on this quest of getting better with women, I was searching for every information I could find about attracting them. I even kept a folder on my computer where I would collect every little piece of information I deemed relevant, everything that would bring me closer to my goal.
What I got was a folder full of situational advice. I learned how to respond to a girl who would banter with me. I knew exactly how to start a conversation with a girl and make her laugh. I even knew what to do when she blew me off because “she had a boyfriend.”
I thought that I could fix my problems with women by having an answer to every possible situation. To be ready when she throws me a shit test about having a boyfriend. To be prepared and ace her tests so she would know that I’m one of the cool guys.
But the truth is that I had million little puzzle pieces but no clue how to put them all together. The situations I so thoroughly planned for hardly every came up, and if they did, they never really had the desired outcome. As my folder grew, so did my confusion.
My problem wasn’t that I lacked the information, it was all there, in my folder. No, my problem was that I couldn’t see the big picture! Hell, I didn’t even know that I was supposed to look for it. To me, fixing a given situation and then trying to tackle another one made sense at the time. I never thought about looking further than that.
To tell you the truth, I don’t even really remember when I finally started to see it. One day, it just happened. I suddenly noticed that I knew the answers to situations that had bothered me for so long. Situations that before had left me clueless because no matter how hard I searched I couldn’t find the answers, now started to make sense. I even knew exactly what to do in situations I hadn’t encountered before nor prepared for. And I knew that I didn’t need a specific line, technique or tactic to make a woman react to me.
So here is my advice for you if you want to see the bigger picture yourself and don’t want to rely on situational advice anymore. Go ahead and collect your puzzle pieces, but don’t do it like I did. Be smart about it! Don’t keep relying on them to give you answers indefinitely. Try to see how they fit together. Whenever you collect a new piece, try to see where it fits. Take a long hard look why it works in that situation.
For example, if you have learned that you shouldn’t buy girls flowers on the first date, then don’t just blindly accept it as a fact but actually try to find the reason why (it makes you look desperate). Or if you get her number and know that it’s not a good idea to start bombarding her with text messages or praising the ground she walks on, then find out why you should avoid it (again, desperate!). Try to not to look only at the facts you are presented but the reasons why people keep suggesting them.
The truth is that if you keep relying on the situational advice, you will never finish your puzzle and stop improving and growing. However, if you manage to get the picture together, if you start to see the full picture, you won’t really have to concern yourself with the little details anymore.
Oh, by the way, if a girl tries to blow you off because she has a boyfriend, you can respond with: “I just met you and already you’re telling me about your problems…”