A lot of guys approach a woman with a completely wrong mindset. Since they don’t really know what works on women, they rely on pick-up lines, techniques and tactics to attract them. They will never go up to a girl and be totally honest about their intentions. They prefer to “fly under her radar” and try to pick her up this way. Sometimes this approach works, but ultimately, it’s only a temporary solution to a permanent problem.
One thing every guy who relies on lines or techniques gets wrong when a girl rejects him is to assume that she did so because of the line he used. This also conveniently removes all the responsibility from him when he gets rejected – it wasn’t because of him, it was because the line wasn’t good enough or the technique he used wasn’t applied correctly.
The reason why this kind of thinking is counter-productive is because he will never try to improve himself but only the techniques and lines. Although it is easier for him to deal with rejection this way, in the long run, it simply won’t help him in any way to grow as a man and improve his success with women.
It is Always About You
I get it, it’s tough to get rejected. And it’s even worse if you think that you got rejected because of who you are. It’s much easier to convince yourself that you got rejected because your approach wasn’t that good or you didn’t put enough conviction behind the pick-up line. But at the end of the day, that was still not what got you actually rejected – it was you!
Does this mean that pick-up lines are useless and don’t matter? Of course not! If you need them to approach a girl and start a conversation with her, then by all means, use them. But you should also recognize them for what they are and not expect them to work wonders. If you get rejected, it’s because she rejected you and not the line.
I’m not trying to say that you can’t influence the outcome of your interactions or don’t play an active role whether a girl is going to like you or not. What I’m trying to say is that if you approach her with the best lines and techniques but all she notices is a guy who fidgets, demonstrates terrible body language and can’t even keep strong eye contact, she will reject you because of it, and not because of what you said to her. So if you’re not trying to fix yourself as a whole, then what you say doesn’t really matter. Take responsibility and improve yourself, not the lines you are using.
The truth is that most men are too terrified to put themselves out there, to just say what’s on their mind. That’s why they rely on something safe, something they think works, instead of having the guts to be honest. Basically, they hide who they are and try to make themselves look more awesome by coming up with clever lines and techniques. But this will last them for so long (if at all) because you can’t hide who you are for forever.
Now, I’m well aware how stupid “just be yourself and everything will work out fine” sounds. But the thing is that this phrase has some truth to it, no matter how cliché it might sound. If you start being your true self around women and are totally honest in your intentions, your success rate will increase dramatically. So why do I believe that? Well…
Why “Just Be Yourself” Works
Usually, when a guy approaches a girl, he has an agenda. He knows exactly why he approached her but he tries to hide it. But women aren’t stupid. They also know why he approached them and what he is doing. Women see through this and if a guy tries to hide his true intentions, they often “punish” him because he comes off as dishonest. This is why “being yourself” or to say it better “being honest” works.
Women know when you approach them with lines and techniques. When they respond to you positively, it wasn’t because your delivery was good, it was because she saw something in you. She wanted to meet you despite you trying to pick her up. On the other hand, if you are totally honest about your intentions and don’t try to hide the fact that you want her, she will respond more favorably to you. It will basically let her know that you have balls and don’t try to hide them. This will make you come across as very confident, instead of dishonest.
And do you know what else is going to happen if you are actually becoming honest with her? You will become more confident as well. You stop hiding behind some fake persona and notice that whenever you are brave enough to show who you actually are, women will love you for it. You will feel free because you don’t have to hide anymore or to pretend that you’re not interested, you will learn to express yourself freely.
The thing you have to understand about approaching and attracting women is that it’s not something you should be ashamed of. The lines and techniques are to leave a non-threatening impression. But most women aren’t afraid of you when you approach them in a confident, authentic manner. In fact, they like it! They like that you are so straight-forward and not hiding it. So, instead of some dude who tries to weasel his way into their lives, she gets approached by a man who has no problem making himself vulnerable to her.
I’m not going to go very deep into the topic of vulnerability here, but if you want to know how this will help you to attract women, you should go ahead and take a look at it here, or better yet, pick up the whole book. Here is my take on it: Models: Attract Women Through Honesty Review.
But if you go all out on your approaches and don’t rely on other things, you will see that women will actually respond better to you. Sure, you will still get rejected because not all women know how to deal with a man who is totally vulnerable and honest in his intentions; it’s just a part of the game. But it will be some easier to create connections with the women who responded positively because you showed a side of yourself that most men rarely do.
The Honest Conclusion
Women truly appreciate honesty in a man, so if you are honest from the get go, they will like it. Drop the lines and techniques, or if this is something you can’t do, then at least don’t rely on them. If you get rejected, it wasn’t about the thing you said or the angle you approached her, it was because you will need to stop hiding your true self from her, and if that’s not enough, improve that person. Become a better man and you will see that women will like you for it.
Like I mentioned already, if you truly want to become better, then take a look at Models because it will change the way you interact with women. It will change the way you approach girls and help you to become an attractive guy.