If you have ever been in a relationship with a woman whom you consider as “the one,” you definitely know how it feels.
It’s a feeling like no other!
Almost nothing seems as important to you as being with her. And if you could, you would spend every free moment together.
You would even miss hanging out with your friends just to be with her!
Hey, they are your friends, they’ll understand if you choose her over them most of the time. And who doesn’t, isn’t a true friend anyway!
Well, not exactly!
If you choose your girlfriend over your friends all the time, you are heading for disaster…
Why Always Choosing Her is a Bad Idea
Here’s a scary fact for you: if you choose your girlfriend over your friends every time, not only will you severely damage your friendships, eventually you will also ruin the relationship you have with her!
Because it’s the exact opposite of what a healthy relationship should be!
But let me explain.
Whenever you sacrifice activities you had planned with your buddies because of your girlfriend, your relationship with them suffers. It’s basic psychology – the less you spend time with someone, the further apart you grow.
Do that enough times and they will decide to stop hanging out with you. Even your best friendships will eventually fall apart if you continue on this path.
Sure, most of your friends will understand when you don’t always have time for them. However, if you start to shut them out of your life completely, you will start to lose them.
You wouldn’t believe how many guys I have seen in this exact situation!
Imagine you spend all of your time with your girlfriend and don’t have time for anyone else. Your buddies notice it and stop trying to hang out with you because “Why bother? You would say no anyway.”
With passing time, she slowly but surely becomes the only friend you got!
And while it might seem cute to call your girlfriend your best friend and the only friend you’ll ever need, it is the worst case scenario a man in a relationship can be in!
It means that you basically sacrifice everything for her!
Now all of your interactions happen with this one friend. And slowly but surely you will become dependent on her company. You will rely on her to feel good, and when she’s not available, you’ll get frustrated and desperate.
By continuing down this path, you will eventually start to suffocate her (emotionally) by continually demanding for attention and affection.
Whenever she is out with her friends (because she didn’t give them up like you did) you will become jealous.
You will start to see every new male acquaintance she makes as a threat and might even start to resent her female friends because she suddenly wants to hang out with them more than she used to!
Like you can imagine, this is where everything starts to go downhill!
Sure, the one thing you could always do is to get to know her friends. But whatever you do, these people can’t replace your actual friends! They would be your acquaintances and not someone you could just call up to hang out with.
And you know what’s even more worrying?
Should you ever break up with your girlfriend, these new “friends” would disappear along with her because they would always choose her over you!
And when the day finally comes (and it will come) and you two break up, you will have no friends at all!
Now you are in a terrible spot – you are all alone.
Whenever you try to patch things up with your old buddies, you will notice that they don’t have that much time for you anymore.
And who can blame them?
If you put yourself in their shoes, it will become apparent why. You were the guy who was always “busy” and didn’t have time for them.
Now when you are all alone and desperate, you suddenly expect them to drop everything and find time for you again.
But guess what? They moved on with their lives!
They have learned to live their lives without you in it, and all you can do is to accept it and start looking for new friends.
So what exactly am I trying to say here?
That you should always choose your friends over the girl?
Of course not!
If you spend time only with your friends and rarely with your girlfriend, you will definitely lose her. A woman needs your attention, and when she doesn’t get it from you, she will get it from someone else!
No, you need something else. You need to find a better solution!
Find Your Balance
The solution here is to find a healthy balance between the two, so your relationships (with your friends and with your girl) won’t suffer!
Don’t spend all of your time with your friends, but also don’t give her all of your attention either!
Find the time to go out with your buddies and the time to do something with your girl, so everybody is happy. Remember, balance is the key to all long and healthy relationships.
Also, if you find it hard to tell your girl that you want to spend some time with your friends, you have to understand something:
Your girlfriend doesn’t actually want you to sacrifice everything for her!
If she’s asking for your attention, it doesn’t mean you should immediately drop everything and run to her! A girl with a healthy mindset understands that sometimes you have your own stuff to do.
If she doesn’t, I got some bad news for you, buddy: you might want to start looking for someone else.
And sometimes your girlfriend just wants to know that you are a man with a strong character and can stick to your decisions. If every time you drop whatever you were doing just to worship her, she will eventually see you as weak and lose attraction for you.
Sure, sometimes she might even get upset in the moment when you say “no” to her, but in the long run, she will respect you for standing your ground.
So, what can you learn from this?
Like already mentioned… find a healthy balance and try to keep it as much as possible.
This means that sometimes you’ll have to say no to your girlfriend, but also to your friends!
While this might seem like a hard task because you can’t always do what you want, it will pay off. You’ll keep everyone around you happy (including yourself).