Whenever you hear the saying “she is out of my league” you always imagine it coming from a guy who wants to get together with a girl he never has a chance with. I have always hated this saying. When I was younger it was because I thought no hot girl would ever go for someone like me. I always imagined girls going only for the tall, handsome, cool guys. Now, however, I hate it for a different reason: it is bullshit!
I do have to make a distinction though: there will always be guys to whom beautiful women really are unattainable. However, the reason for this isn’t because they’re not rich or handsome enough, it’s because they have given up on themselves.
Every guy who doesn’t give up on himself will always have a shot with most beautiful women. Just because you think the “perfect” girl wouldn’t go for someone like you, does not make it a fact.
Is She Really Out of Your League?
If you believe an attractive girl is out of your league, she definitely will be. It’s because you automatically move her there and disqualify yourself in the process. By this, you are assuming she is somehow more special than you and you’re not good enough for her.
Basically, this all boils down to how you decide to see a woman, and your opinion of yourself. Here is your problem in a nutshell: 1) you are giving a woman you don’t even know too much value 2) you aren’t seeing yourself as someone who has value.
Let me elaborate on these two points:
1) Whenever you put a woman above yourself and see her as out of your league, you’ll be creating a lot of limiting beliefs for yourself. You will accept these beliefs as facts and never try to challenge them. You will come up with reasons why the girl you want never takes a liking to you. When presented with examples that conflict with your views, you will simply dismiss them or come up with convenient excuses ( the ugly guy with hot girl = rich). Because of this, you will never try to meet beautiful women – they seem just too far out of your reach.
As you can see, when you accept the idea that some girls are out of your league, you will start fighting an uphill battle. That’s why you have to change the way you view attractive women. You need to let go of your old ways where every beautiful girl is special and has more value than you.
The key here is to understand that it is actually you who gives a pretty girl this status and makes her special. When you reject the idea of a so-called “league” you will remove her high status (something she never had) and give yourself permission to be her equal. Furthermore, if you can look at every girl you meet as equals, you won’t have any problems going after the hot ones. Of course, you will always like one girl more than the other, but you’ll know that this doesn’t make her special.
2) Now, when looking at the other side of the problem, then your next mistake is probably giving yourself too little value in your interactions with women. Usually, this leads to the rationalization where a hot girl is better than most men and therefore would never go for someone below exceptional. Guys have various reasons for thinking like this, but oftentimes it comes down to not being good enough for her (not handsome, tall or rich enough).
This inferiority complex is very common among men. It’s what holds them back whenever they want to go after the girls they like. Even when these thoughts never enter your mind, subconsciously you are still feeling that an attractive woman is somehow unreachable. Therefore, you will still have a hard time approaching and talking to her. There are basically two solutions to this problem:
Improve yourself. If you are used to putting yourself down in your interactions with women, you have to admit that it’s a problem you need to face. This means that it won’t get fixed unless you take the responsibility and do something about it. If you fail to do that, you will always see desirable girls as being out of your league.
Like I mentioned earlier, only a guy who has given up on women doesn’t stand a chance with them. That’s why you can’t become him. Your best bet here is to get to know yourself, identify your strengths and weaknesses and improve on them. Don’t blame your surrounding circumstances when you can actually do something about them. If you really want to become a desirable man, always strive for bettering yourself.
Now, self-improvement isn’t actually a necessary step to get your dream girl. However, it will help you to convince yourself of your own worth. When you can actually see your transformation with your own eyes and know that you have achieved something you weren’t capable before, you will start believing in yourself. Hey, it is really hard to convince yourself how smart and awesome you are, if you got nothing to show for it.
Trust in yourself. This one actually correlates with the previous point. Not only do you have to discover who you are, but also learn to trust in yourself. You have to know that you are already capable of more than you previously imagined, and if you tried, would have a chance with every woman you wanted. If you always doubt yourself, you will never get to where you want to be, or with whom you want to be.
The problem why it’s so hard to truly trust in yourself is that you have accepted the mainstream narrative that tells you aren’t good enough unless you are rich, successful and attractive. If you get constantly bombarded with the message that you aren’t good enough, eventually you’ll start to believe it. It will influence and limit your view of yourself and always hold back your true potential. That’s why you have to reject this way of thinking and adopt a new one: you are already good enough, no matter who you are.
When you start trusting in yourself, you will see yourself differently. You will start thinking and behaving in ways that align with your new perspective. People around you will notice the new you and start treating you differently. And even women that you previously thought are out of your league will start noticing that. So, let go of your doubts and negativity and replace them with a positive mindset.
In the end, if you really want a girl that’s out of your league, all I can tell you is this: just go after her. Forget all the bullshit that hot girls are somehow more special than others (and you). Do not let some limiting beliefs hold you back. Improve yourself and you will start seeing the possibilities. Forget about the league, there is only you and the girl!