A man covered in lipstick kisses being pulled towards a woman.

If you want to have abundance with women, you should know, that there are things you might need to change about yourself.

You also have to understand that it requires a change in your mindset!

This means getting rid of your current limiting mentality and adopting a completely new one.

To really have abundance with women, you need to know about the two sides of the same coin – the abundance and scarcity mindsets.

Only with a better understanding how these mindsets affect your success with women, is it possible for you to make this transformation.

So, let’s start this article by taking a look at the scarcity mindset first.

The Scarcity Mentality

Usually guys coming from a scarcity mindset believe that only a limited number of women would be attracted to them, and if for some reason they fail to find a girl, they are guaranteed to end up alone and miserable.

Because our society is built on the principle that we have only limited resources available to us and not everyone can get a “slice of the pie”, many men assume the same applies to women as well.

However, this is simply not true!

When you firmly believe women are rare, you automatically give them more value than yourself.

You will even convince yourself that a girl you just met is perfect (she is “the one”) and give her qualities she most likely lacks.

You will be so emotionally invested in her that you rationalize away all the red flags (indications that you are not a match) just because you come from the scarcity mindset and fear losing her.

How many times have you thought about a girl as “the one”?

Someone who is nothing like the rest?

The girl who is special?

If this is how you see every new woman you meet, you will never escape your scarcity mindset. Instead, you will only reinforce your deep-rooted beliefs that you are not worthy of a woman.

You will repeat the same pattern of behavior with every girl and never learn from your mistakes. Eventually, you will end up alone.

Some men can get so hung up on these “special girls” that they refuse do date others, even when presented with the opportunity.

What’s worse, when a girl finally rejects them (for their desperate and needy behavior) they will try even harder to “win her back”.

They will convince themselves having lost the “love of their life” and start going into a downward spiral.

You have to understand that this kind of behavior has nothing to do with love!

When you are in scarcity, you will “fall in love” with the first attractive girl that gives you any attention.

This isn’t because she is somehow more special than the rest. It’s because deep down you fear that screwing it up with this one could mean that you never get a chance with such a great woman again and this keeps you in this cycle of pain.

But maybe you are asking yourself what if it really works out with this one, the one girl you always wanted?

What happens when you get into a relationship with her?

Surely you will lose the scarcity mindset and be happy, right?

Not exactly.

Yes, there will be a phase in this relationship where everything is just awesome and a guy coming from scarcity can finally feel “normal” because he is in a relationship.

However, he hasn’t actually lost his negative mindset, so he will see her as the source of his happiness and once the honeymoon phase is over, she will notice his needy behavior and start pulling away from him.

He, of course, will push even harder to fix it and still lose her.

The one thing you can take from this article about the scarcity mindset is this: it is not the state you want to be in when you are meeting women.

It is counterproductive and unless a woman is as needy and desperate as you are, she will reject you.

Now that we have realized how poisonous the scarcity mindset actually is and why it should be avoided, let us take a look at the abundance mentality.

The Abundance Mentality

A guy with an abundance mentality isn’t really affected by the loss of a girl who he just met.

He won’t chase her thinking she is “more special” than others.

He won’t put her on a pedestal like a guy with a scarcity mindset does.

When he meets an attractive woman, he won’t look at her like she is some kind of goddess to be admired. He will see her as she really is – just a normal person – and treat her accordingly.

A guy with an abundance mindset in a relationship will not expect from his girlfriend to make him a better person, he knows that this is his own responsibility.

He is the source of his happiness and good emotions. He knows, that no matter what happens between him and her, it will never affect his worth as a man or the way he sees himself.

What abundance mentality actually comes down to is the knowledge that you are enough:

You are the source of your own happiness and this is something no one else can give or take away from you.

When you want to be attractive to a woman, know that you are enough to be with her and you don’t need to compensate for anything (something guys in scarcity always do).

A woman on your side won’t make you happy, she is merely there to share your happiness.

If you really want to have abundance with women, stop feeling bad about yourself when you are the only person “still single” in your social circle.

Learning to be happy without women in your life will set you on the path of abundance.

And you know what?

Women will start to notice your abundant look on life and want to be around you!

When you give up the need of finding happiness from others, you will see that they will start to gravitate towards you.

Finding Abundance

It is actually easy to have abundance with the opposite sex. The only thing you have to do is to go out and meet new people.

If you do that, you will see that attracting women isn’t really that hard.

Also, do not go out with the goal of finding happiness, go with the goal of spreading it to people around you by always giving more than receiving.

Abundance is not something you get by sitting at home and wishing it will somehow make you popular with the ladies, it is a lifestyle that needs to be developed by taking action.


  1. There's something that always bothers me about these types of articles. While the theory behind this is clearly sound, the article lacks any way to implement it's own teachings. I've identified these scarcity mindset, symptoms in my own life; I do all of them. However, identifying is just part of it, granted a big part. What I came here to find out is how to replace this mindset with something else. When I notice these patterns hoping up, when I get rejected, when I'm home for the night winding down, when I go out to a bar and it's dead or mostly men, when i get super nervous about talking to a pretty girl. What can I try to replace these negative or destructive thoughts with. That would be the key, carving that pathway in your brain until it becomes second nature. And this is what I struggle with as I tend to backslide being a stubborn person.

    1. I understand what you mean, but what exactly do you expect to get from these kinds of articles? A step-by-step system to rid yourself of scarcity? That's not how this works! Getting rid of scarcity is a long process (changing your mindset takes time). It requires you to fix a lot of things about yourself. To pinpoint and list them all here would make this article way too long. This one is meant to give you a starting point so you have a basic idea what to do next. Just guessing here, but based on what you wrote, it seems to me that you're way too outcome dependent. You’re focusing on a certain outcome and if you’re not getting it, you'll beat yourself up about it. My advice would be to let go of it! Whenever you go out, don’t focus on getting girls (or whatever outcome you're hoping to get) but focus on having fun/gaining new experiences/meeting people etc. Whether you find a girl or not shouldn’t be what makes or breaks the night. If you start to see your nights as successes despite not finding a girl, your negative thoughts will also disappear. And even if I’m spot on with my “outcome dependency” assumption, there could still be many, many more things you need to improve (that’s why you can’t find the answer to your scarcity problem in just one article). Just keep reading (and implementing) stuff like this and going out on a regular basis, eventually rid yourself of this problem. Oh, and stubbornness in your case is a good thing! Stay stubborn because it will help you to get through the challenges you’re facing!

  2. This girl always did this abnormal I told her about it all the time and made me look like a drama queen I loved her I always wanted to be with her they were days were I look forward to seeing her to complete my day like she was my happiness and on her part because of she started to misbehave made me unhappy I broke up with her angrily and her friends came to talk to me that what I did was wrong I missed her so much I went to beg her I cried for her to take me back she later said she will so I accepted but she said we should take things slow she no longer hug kiss or stay over at my place and it was killing me I wanted things to go back to normal or better than before I felt she was friend zoning me so I told her why she always does Dat her excuse was that we just got back together she needs time I was like I know but u r not trying to make things work I did everything to buy her love back so one day I called her and asked her why is she making me feel awful I am trying to make it work and she is not putting any effort I was angry saying it she said we always argue and we r too different so we should end the relationship she broke up with me I can't help myself I still stalk her on Instagram I miss her so much but I want to be happy even meeting other girls don't make me happy seeing her on social media I have never chatted with her after that but seeing her is like she keeps looking more beautiful all the time I want to stop I feel like I am becoming obsessed with her I don't really go out but I think I should now but do u thin she feels the same way I feel pls respond

    1. John

      AUTHOR Feb 2, 2017 at 9:27pm

      Hey Josh! First of all, if you decide to reply to me, could you do me a favor and use punctuation? It's really hard to follow you. Anyway, to answer you... Sorry buddy, I doubt it she feels the same way. But this is besides the point. You have serious oneitis. What you're doing right now is very unhealthy. You have to cut her out of your life completely! Stop thinking about her and definitely stop stalking her on social media! Trust me, if you do this, you will eventually get over her. And yes, you should start going out and meeting other girls.

    2. Josh no disrespect but you sound like a p*ssy move on there's a saying that goes dont sweat one girl cuz the next one is always better like I tell my bros whenever they get pussywhipped crying over a female is like crying over spilt milk when you have a gallon you got the game to get more.how do you know if you don't like other girls if you don't go out and meet them.pull your skirt down and stop acting like a b*tch I guarantee you if you go out and meet other girls you will find one better then her and then you will look back at your ex and laugh like what was I thinking

  3. Very good words and so can relate to this article, with my past experiences....

  4. Yeah I have been reading about prosperity vs scarcity consciousness with John Kehoe and his chapter in his book called mind power on "Prosperity" and I have memorised and today I felt a couple of paragraphs that I didn't much care for four months ago just came a light, I thought, if I can get that with a money orientated series of words I can get that with a women orientated series of words and it brought me here, nicely said. I'll paraphrase some of the words and repeat them to myself every day :)

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