If you want to have abundance with women, you should know, that there are things you might need to change about yourself. You also have to understand that it requires a change in your mindset. This means getting rid of your current limiting mentality and adopting a completely new one.
To really have abundance with women, you need to know about the two sides of the same coin – the abundance and scarcity mindsets. Only with a better understanding how these mindsets affect your success with women, is it possible for you to make this transformation. So, let’s start this article by taking a look at the scarcity mindset first.
The Scarcity Mentality
Usually guys coming from a scarcity mindset believe that only a limited number of women would be attracted to them, and if for some reason they fail to find a girl, they are guaranteed to end up alone and miserable. Because our society is built on the principle that we have only limited resources available to us and not everyone can get a “slice of the pie”, many men assume the same applies to women as well. However, this is simply not true.
When you firmly believe women are rare, you automatically give them more value than yourself. You will even convince yourself that a girl you just met is perfect (she is “the one”) and give her qualities she most likely lacks. You will be so emotionally invested in her that you rationalize away all the red flags (indications that you are not a match) just because you come from the scarcity mindset and fear losing her.
How many times have you thought about a girl as “the one”? Someone who is nothing like the rest? The girl who is special? If this is how you see every new woman you meet, you will never escape your scarcity mindset. Instead, you will only reinforce your deep-rooted beliefs that you are not worthy of a woman. You will repeat the same pattern of behavior with every girl and never learn from your mistakes. Eventually, you will end up alone.
Some men can get so hung up on these “special girls” that they refuse do date others, even when presented with the opportunity. What’s worse, when a girl finally rejects them (for their desperate and needy behavior) they will try even harder to “win her back”. They will convince themselves having lost the “love of their life” and start going into a downward spiral.
You have to understand that this has nothing to do with love. When you are in scarcity, you will “fall in love” with the first attractive girl that gives you any attention. This isn’t because she is somehow more special than the rest. It’s because deep down you fear that screwing it up with this one could mean that you never get a chance with such a great woman again and this keeps you in this cycle of pain.
But maybe you are asking yourself what if it really works out with this one, the one girl you always wanted? What happens when you get into a relationship with her? Surely you will lose the scarcity mindset and be happy, right? Not exactly.
Yes, there will be a phase in this relationship where everything is just awesome and a guy coming from scarcity can finally feel “normal” because he is in a relationship. However, he hasn’t actually lost his negative mindset, so he will see her as the source of his happiness and once the honeymoon phase is over, she will notice his needy behavior and start pulling away from him. He, of course, will push even harder to fix it and still lose her.
The one thing you can take from this article about the scarcity mindset is this: it is not the state you want to be in when you are meeting women. It is counterproductive and unless a woman is as needy and desperate as you are, she will reject you.
Now that we have realized how poisonous the scarcity mindset actually is and why it should be avoided, let us take a look at the abundance mentality.
The Abundance Mentality
A guy with an abundance mentality isn’t really affected by the loss of a girl who he just met. He won’t chase her thinking she is “more special” than others. He won’t put her on a pedestal like a guy with a scarcity mindset does. When he meets an attractive woman, he won’t look at her like she is some kind of goddess to be admired. He will see her as she really is – just a normal person – and treat her accordingly.
A guy with an abundance mindset in a relationship will not expect from his girlfriend to make him a better person, he knows that this is his own responsibility. He is the source of his happiness and good emotions. He knows, that no matter what happens between him and her, it will never affect his worth as a man or the way he sees himself.
What abundance mentality actually comes down to is the knowledge that you are enough. You are the source of your own happiness and this is something no one else can give or take away from you. When you want to be attractive to a woman, know that you are enough to be with her and you don’t need to compensate for anything (something guys in scarcity always do). A woman on your side won’t make you happy, she is merely there to share your happiness.
If you really want to have abundance with women, stop feeling bad about yourself when you are the only person “still single” in your social circle. Learning to be happy without women in your life will set you on the path of abundance. And you know what? Women will start to notice your abundant look on life and want to be around you. When you give up the need of finding happiness from others, you will see that they will start to gravitate towards you.
It is actually easy to have abundance with the opposite sex. The only thing you have to do is to go out and meet new people. If you do that, you will see that attracting women isn’t really that hard. Also, do not go out with the goal of finding happiness, go with the goal of spreading it to people around you by always giving more than receiving.
Abundance is not something you get by sitting at home and wishing it will somehow make you popular with the ladies, it is a lifestyle that needs to be developed by taking action.