What is the first thing that pops into your head when you hear the words: an attractive man? Like most guys, you are probably imagining a tall, ripped and handsome guy. Because, if a man has these specific qualities, he will get any woman he wants, right?
But what if you are a bit lacking in the looks department? What if you are short, fat and ugly instead? Well, in that case, you gotta at least have money! Because women are only interested in two things: looks and money! Right?
In reality, there are actually many different qualities that turn an average guy truly attractive in the eyes of a woman. The point of this article is to highlight some and give you advice on how improving them can benefit you.
So, if you want to learn how to become an attractive male, keep reading.
The "Secret" to Becoming Attractive
Since we already mentioned physical appearance, let's get this one out of the way first. Guys worry too much about their looks. Yes, it is true that being good looking will give you an advantage, but it's not as big as you assume. The thing about us men is that we give more value to an attractive girl and therefore assume she does the same to us. But most of the times it's not the reason why she actually finds us attractive.
Being good looking is definitely a bonus, but when you aren't genetically as blessed as the next man, you can still become attractive in the eyes of a girl. The only reason why many "ugly" men never have a chance with beautiful women is that they are too hung up on their own looks. They disqualify themselves by not even trying, or simply assume that they "don't have a chance anyway".
If you use your appearance as an excuse why you can't attract the women you want, then guess what, it will definitely hold you back. Not because you are "ugly" but because you think your appearance is all that matters. It is not! An average guy, who has more positive qualities women respond to than a good looking guy who has none, will always be more attractive to women.
One other thing about beauty is that it's very subjective. Women have different tastes in men (what a surprise, right?) and no matter how good looking a guy is, some women still won't find him attractive. However, this also works the other way around – no matter how ugly you think you are, there will always be some girl that finds you desirable.
So, what am I trying to say here? You should not care about your looks at all? Hell no! You should always try to look your best. Groom yourself to look the best you can. Get a haircut that suits you. Wear clothes that improve your appearance. And if you are fat, hit the gym. You have absolutely no excuse to look like you just crawled out from under a rock! Remember: no one likes a slob!
So if you are not good looking, do you just roll over and give up? Do you just accept your fate and try to make the best of it? Or do you say "fuck that" and find a way around it? If your attitude doesn't reflect a man who chooses the second option, then go ahead and give up. Save yourself the trouble and go on complaining about how unfair life is. If you truly want to be attractive, you need to cultivate the no retreat, no surrender attitude!
Your attitude should be of a guy who doesn't let anything get to him. Even something like getting rejected by women shouldn't faze you. This is where most guys fail. They get too hung up on the received feedback and take it as an attack on their personality. However, if you push straight through the rejections you'll get from women (and life in general) and still have the balls to keep pushing forward, then you have the attitude that makes a difference.
If you got this far and aren't right now in the comments section telling me what an asshole I am, you are probably starting to understand what a game changer attitude can be. Women love men who know what they want and go after it. A woman wants a man who stays strong even when things get hard. She needs someone she can rely on.
Well, this one is really obvious. I have written about confidence in many posts before, so I'll keep this one short. If you can't convince her how confident you are, she won't be really attracted to you. Shyness is cute only to some extent and after that, it all goes downhill.
You know what? Screw about convincing her! The only person you need to convince is yourself! If confidence is something that is rooted in your psyche, you will be confident no matter what and she will notice it when being around you... and love it.
If you already got the attitude part handled then being authentic should be the next thing high on your list. What this means is that your thoughts and actions must be in alignment. Everything you do and say should come off as genuine. When you say something, you better fucking mean it!
Being authentic is attractive because you are not holding yourself back for anyone. This means you are a man who conveys high status because high-status men hardly, if ever, censor themselves. They don't worry what others might think of them because they know that no one else can define them. You are authentic when you do not hesitate to say or do things you think are right.
This also goes for setting boundaries and not being afraid to exert them when someone steps over them. When something is bothering you, you better say it! When someone is disrespecting you, you better take care of it. When a girl is testing your boundaries, you better know how to deal with it. What I'm trying to say here is: you gotta have backbone, son! Nothing is more embarrassing than being all talk but having nothing to back it up with.
Having something you love to do is always a turn on. Why do you think women love guys who're passion is to play the guitar and create music? When you have passion and can express it in some way, you will automatically draw other people into your world. Passion is something that inspires others around you. Passion is also something that pushes you forward when you fall on rough times.
Lacking any kind of passion in life is a miserable way to live. People without passion are miserable. They seem miserable. They act miserable. They make everyone else around them miserable. Do I have to continue? Find a passion and you will find women who will love what you do.
This one is just, well... if you act around women like a little bitch instead of like a man, how long do you think they will respect you? And without respect, there can't be any attraction either. Women to this day still love masculinity, so do not try to get on their good side by becoming one of their girlfriends.
Also, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. We are a generation that is being brainwashed to believe we have to be soft and cuddly for women to like and respect us, but this is not the essence of a real man. A masculine man radiates strength and dominance and that's what makes him attractive.
Of course, you don't have to go overboard with it and start chewing rocks or go and kick a grizzly bear in the nuts. Even trying to "dominate" others because you're the "big bad alpha" is just lame and compensating for some deeper-seated issues. It's easy: be respectful to others, just don't become a pushover. That's all I'm saying.
Independence in the traditional sense means getting by without relying on others. If you are independent, you are also competent enough to take care of yourself. Also, being independent means you don't look for validation from women on how to behave. You make your own decisions and do not need someone to tell you what to do. An independent person should be also capable of taking the lead when needed.
This is where many guys also go terribly wrong. They either give up their independence by letting the woman make all the decisions (because they think they are being considerate) or looking at her to give them approval for their choices. Neither of these two options is good because it forces women into the male gender role, and trust me, they really don't want to be there!
Be independent and take the lead if you must. Give a woman options not choices, because if she doesn't like them, she as sure as hell will let you know anyway.
A man needs to have a purpose in his life. If you lack a purpose, you will just aimlessly drift around and will not achieve greatness. Don't be a leaf in the wind. Do something that has meaning to you. Women do not want a man who lacks purpose.
But whatever you do, never ever try to make a woman your purpose. Many men step into this trap because they do exactly that. It's cute and all but the problem with this is that she will resent it. She doesn't want another guy who treats her like a queen to be admired and pleased. She needs to know that you have a purpose and you will not stray from it. A man on his path is attractive. A man who can't be veered from his path is irresistible.
Here is the thing: if you haven't already, find a purpose in your life. But don't do it because women find it attractive, do it because you, as a man, need it.
Like you can see, there are many things that make a man attractive to women. Hell, I didn't even name half of them! The thing to remember here is this: you really have no excuse to stay the way you are if you don't have any success with women.
Do not hide behind excuses, start to work on yourself! Become a better man and you will become attractive! Only after you truly have done everything in your power and are still failing, you can come back here and tell me what an asshole I am!