A lot of guys say that the nightclub is the worst place to find a quality woman – someone who you would even consider making your girlfriend. Well, these guys just don’t know how to approach a girl at a club! Instead of doing anything, they just sit in the corner and drinking their beer. Even worse, afterward they complain how all girls were terrible and have convenient excuses for their passivity while other guys went up to girls and took them home.
If you want to become the guy who takes girls home with you, then you also need to have the balls to approach them. But you probably already knew this and just want to know how to do it so you won’t feel the sting of rejection. So, let me tell you…
The Secret of Approaching Women
The first thing you need to know about approaching girls in a club scene is that you will get rejected, a lot! Sorry, but there is no way around it. Rather than take rejection as a personal attack on your character, learn from it and then approach some more girls. This is really what makes the guys who “get it” different from the rest – they don’t give up. So, the very first thing, before you even do the approach, is to get used to the feeling of getting rejected.
But don’t sit at home hoping you will fix the problem this way. Sure, you can actually improve your mindset so that eventually you will numb yourself to the rejection, but you have to get out of the house and take the first step by approach every girl you find attractive.
Now, when you do the initial approach, knowing what to do is really a great advantage to have. Most guys in the club drunkenly stumble up to a girl (because you can’t sit in the corner forever) and come up either with something pretty lame, immediately start complimenting her, or offer her to buy a drink. But she sees through this kind of behavior – these men aren’t there to make her feel good, they just want to get something from her (you know what)!
But do you know why women are so good at recognizing your behavior? Because they get constantly approached at clubs and are really good at reading your intentions! So if your intentions suck, you will go home alone! That’s why you should never approach a girl with the intention of getting something from her. Instead, you should be the one who is there to give! But how to you do that?
Well, the very first thing you have to remember when you approach is to always have a smile on your face. This makes you look like a guy who isn’t talking to her out of desperation, but because he actually wants to and is having a fun time. Also, smiling makes you look sincere and sociable. It shows her that you confident and not intimidated by her beauty.
Of course, if you have a line memorized (if not, “hi, I’m…” will do just fine) on what to say to her and really want to use it, then never deliver it in the hopes of getting her to react to it. Just say it, don’t wait for a reaction and start the actual conversation. This is probably where most guys go wrong in in their approaches. They use some “clever” line and then wait for her to “approve” of it. But like I already mentioned, this will just look like they are there to get something (a positive response).
So, if you approach a girl, say whatever you want and keep talking. Never wait for her reaction. Make jokes you find genuinely funny and not what you think she might like. If she sees that you are the kind of guy who is actually fun and not trying to get on her good side, then she will find you attractive. And if it makes it any easier for you, talk to her as you would talk to a really good friend.
Now, if you have trouble keeping a conversation alive, then this is the very first thing you should focus on fixing. Here are two excellent courses you will want to take a look at if you’re afraid of running out of things to say: Speak to Spark Arousal & Conversation Escalation.
But as long as you can stay cool in the moment, you will have no problem approaching girls at the club. Most people go to a club to have fun, so if you are the most fun person there, and share it with others, you will have no problems getting girls attracted to you. Just talk to a girl, make her laugh, get physical with her and eventually, you will have no problems seducing her.
If you noticed, then talking to girls at a nightclub isn’t really much different from talking to them everywhere else. Sure, they immediately know why you are talking to them and you probably face more rejection, but if you manage to make their night fun, they will love you for it.
Just keep in mind: never to approach a girl at the club with the intention of getting something from her! Always be ready to give more than you take and women will want to be with you!