A man who cares about the relationship with his girlfriend will try to keep it harmonious. He does this by trying to keep her happy.
But this doesn’t work out well for everyone!
Sometimes the guy who tries the hardest to keep his girlfriend happy ends up doing the exact opposite: he makes her miserable!
But why is that?
Is he doing something wrong? Something, you could avoid?
To give you two short answers: Yes, he is! And yes, you can!
In fact, it’s because he tries to keep her happy, it becomes the exact reason why she is unhappy!
Now, this kind of bold (and confusing) statement requires a more in-depth explanation. So, let me tell you why some guys never seem to make their girlfriends happy even though they try their hardest.
And then let’s look at how you can avoid their fate…
Where Some Guys Go Wrong
Sometimes your girlfriend’s unhappiness comes from the things you do… or don’t do.
Things like leaving the toilet seat up. Refusing to ask for directions when you’re clearly lost. Or neglecting her when she wants to spend more time together.
But apart from the last one, these are minor problems – problems you can fix on your own.
Yet, if you’re doing everything “right” and she’s still miserable, the problem goes way deeper!
In fact, sometimes because you’re doing things for her, you make her unhappy!
To explain this statement, let’s take your average relationship as an example. Where a man who cares about his girlfriend upsets her:
In your average relationship, both parties will usually have different opinions and worldviews. This will naturally lead to some friction.
And from time to time, it will lead to arguments.
In some of them, he even loses his temper and reacts negatively towards her! In turn, she gets upset and responds with equal negativity.
The end result can range from the silent treatment to a full-blown shouting match!
But despite all of this, she is still happy with him… even though, they fight from time to time.
So why is that?
While you might think that yelling at your girlfriend is always bad (and it can be, if taken to the extreme), you also reveal something about yourself! You show her that you have the mental strength to stand up for yourself.
Sure, you shouldn’t flip out when your girlfriend does something you don’t like, but you also shouldn’t be too accepting. Especially when she’s overstepping your boundaries!
You see, when a guy tries to keep his girlfriend happy no matter the cost, he will make some sacrifices along the way:
- He will give in when arguing with her.
- He will forgo things he wants.
- He will put her always above himself.
All this, to keep her happy!
But this is exactly what makes her unhappy!
While you’re trying to keep her happy, it backfires on you because she loses respect for you.
Women want to be with a man who actually has the balls to say “no” every now and then. So when a guy tries to please her to keep her happy all the time, he demonstrates exactly the opposite!
While losing your temper isn’t cool, at least it shows her that you respect yourself enough to voice your opinion when something isn’t to your liking!
While giving up on things you want makes you seem noble, it also makes you look like you don’t respect yourself enough when doing it all the time!
While putting yourself always first is selfish, it’s not going to be healthy nor helpful when you never do it!
So, what’s the solution then? To pick fights with her, refuse to do things for her, and never put her first?
How to Actually Keep Your Girlfriend Happy
For a relationship to work, both partners need to be willing to make sacrifices.
This means that sometimes you can let her have her way… but sometimes it needs to be her who is making the sacrifices!
If it’s you who’s always getting the short end of the deal, then she’s not going to stay happy in the long run.
You see, the secret of keeping your girlfriend happy is not to look at the short-term effects. It’s to start looking at the bigger picture.
This means that sometimes you need to be ready to upset her in the moment so she can stay happy in the long-term.
A woman who decides to get into a relationship with you needs to look up to you, or at least see you as an equal. If she doesn’t, she is going to lose attraction for you and eventually dump you.
No woman wants to be in a relationship with a guy whom she considers beneath her.
So, if you start acting like she’s someone you have to keep happy at all costs, you prove to her that you are beneath her! And that’s a fact!
So what can you do? Simple:
Stop trying to please her, start standing up for yourself and from time to time, put yourself first!
If she’s unhappy about something, it’s not your job to always try to fix it!
If she’s angry at you and expects you to do something that goes against your values, it’s not you who has to budge!
And if you’re still too worried about upsetting her, think about it this way:
It’s not like she’s going to start hating you for showing some backbone! Sometimes she’s actually secretly hoping that you take charge (she’s testing you).
Yes, by doing so you’ll risk getting into arguments and even upsetting her… but at least she won’t lose respect for you!
Furthermore, when she sees that you can stand up for yourself and not trying to please her, she will stop fighting you and be happier.
Remember: sometimes it’s the girl with the wimpy partner who picks the most fights. Just to see him stand up to her! But since he never does, she’s miserable (thus creating an endless cycle).
While your girlfriend going to play an important role in your life, it doesn’t mean your world should revolve around her!
She needs to see that you’ve got a spine and don’t just bend backward whenever she asks you to.
Sometimes she’s waiting for you to stand up for yourself and say no, just to see your strong, masculine side. Fail to do so, and eventually, she’s going to realize that she made a mistake by getting into a relationship with you.
What it all boils down to is this: don’t do things for your girlfriend to keep her happy. Do things for her because you want to. But never to avoid upsetting her!
Of course, fixing only this part of your relationship isn’t going to fix everything wrong with it.
While it’s definitely a good start, you should also be able to do other things.
Things like taking care of problems, staying strong and being someone she can rely on.
So, if you’re serious about keeping your girl happy, read this: alpha male in relationships.
Or even better…
Get my course Rules of the Alpha Male.
Aside from turning you into a badass, it has a dedicated section for keeping your relationship healthy!